t 18, straight out of high school, I was pounding the concrete jungle working in Manhattan as a secretary. I never had the whole "moving out and into a dorm room" experience. So, from my perspective, I wanted this to be fun, fun, fun and was getting quite frustrated when simple decisions were not so simple. "Orange or turquoise?" I asked. "I don't know!" "T-shirt sheets or regular?" I asked. "I don't know!"
So, in order to circumvent this continuum, I decided to go ahead and make the decisions and just show her what I had done. Wish I could say this was the right answer. She was so appreciative but then felt terrible because it wasn't really what she wanted. Ahhhh! Now we are getting somewhere!
Lesson #1: If you don't know what you want, start with what you don't want.
We continued to look online at website after website until our eyes were crossed. Then we decided we needed some fresh air and to go out for ice cream. This actually lightened the mood of indecision.
Lesson #2: If you don't know what you want, create a diversion and do something unexpected.
All I can say is Target, Target, Target! Honestly, they know their customer, the market and how to merchandise to make it E-A-S-Y.
Lesson #3: If you don't know what you want, follow the experts who have done the heavy lifting for you.
In the end, we made a lot of progress. I was very curious at what changed for my daughter. She was so stuck in inertia that I wanted to pick her brain and see what caused her shift. While all of the lessons here were contributing factors, she said that in the end, she was just ready. Sometimes we push up against what is. We may feel like we are stuck. We may feel like we are disconnected from our inner compass that is usually spot on. But, I can't help but wonder if that is all a part of the process and that we aren't stuck at all. What if it is necessary to play in limbo for a bit? What if this space of not outwardly knowing is really the incubator for great things to be born? Maybe we are underestimating the state of inertia?
Lesson #4: If you don't know what you want, trust that you will know when you know.
For more on self-help, check out a free download of 5 Easy Steps To Balance From The Inside Out at http://www.paulagrosario.com
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